She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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