theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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