I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
