I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
