After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
