I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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