Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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