Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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