i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
