his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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