We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
