you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
