No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
