I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
