He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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