Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
