his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they're like a gay fantastic four
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
