i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How naked do you want me to be?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
