oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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