i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
