All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
