I cut my penus on the lid.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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