Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His nipple licking is glorious
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