i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
