We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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