Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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