Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
