I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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