i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
nutella sex= disaster
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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