Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
