I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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