isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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