I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
