me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
