Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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