He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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