well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
