How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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