In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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