Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
