You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
