What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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