is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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