Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
