This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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