I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize