I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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