sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
