I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
