Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
