They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
