i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize