oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
