Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
