so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
