Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
