My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
