Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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