I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
