I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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