I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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