just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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