And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
