Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
