dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
