At least make sure they are 18
Why
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
