i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
COCAINE IS GR8
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
