If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
