Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
