Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
