You're so nebulous sometimes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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