If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
