i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
vagina is talking i cant
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
